


Why Tony Stark Shouldn't Mess With Magic

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Love, M/M, Manipulation, love potion fic, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-19 16:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having read quite a few fics where Loki gets put under a love spell to fall for Tony, I decided to take a stab at the opposite.</p><p>This is mostly crack.</p><p>Features Tony stalking Loki, Loki being creeped out, and everyone being confused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why Do We Even Have That Lever?

**Author's Note:**

> Should update whenever, but I'm mostly working on My Fellow Hedonist, which is much better and makes way more sense than this. 
> 
> Comments?

Tony burned with curiosity. This was the way it had always been; it made him who he was. Not just curiosity about science, but about everyone and everything. At the moment, as it had been for some time, the intense force of his curiosity was focused mostly on one thing.

Magic.

On their team, Thor was the only one with any vestiges of magic; even then, the god had very little.

On the other side, there was Amora, the crazy magic bitch who wanted Thor in the biblical sense; Doctor Doom and his disturbing amalgamations of electricity and theurgy; and Loki, who wasn't really an enemy, just an agent of chaos who wanted to piss Thor off, and maybe destroy some stuff for funsies. Amongst others.

Why did the bad guys get all the magic?

Tony had spent the last several battles against these magical pains in his ass focussing less on combat and more on scanning them.

He was getting a fair idea of what magical energy was; it wasn't anything like any other energy on Earth, being far more malleable, and it had to have a host. There was so much he didn't understand. A normal person would have gotten frustrated, but Tony's curiosity just intensified.

People had gotten annoyed at Tony working in his lab all the time, but short of roofieing Loki, Amora or Doom and making them perform magic (wasn't that a kinky thought) locking himself in his lab and trying to replicate the actual energy really was his only option.

Today, of all days, he was meeting some success.

There was a big glowing wad of pinky-gold energy roiling in the centre of his lab, which Tony was controlling using his computer, not that he had any idea what the magic he had created did. Really, he was just happy that he had  _something._

Little did Tony know, he was making a pretty sad attempt at a binding spell. This variant was in fact a charm for infatuation.

"Right, that's enough for today, I've got plenty of readings to work with." Tony said, mostly to himself.

He flicked the computer off, expecting the blob of magical energy to fizzle away. At the last second, he realised the awful truth:  _magical energy needs a host._

And a truth he couldn't realise:  _binding spells need two hosts. A magic user and a thrall._

-O.O-

Despite the fact they were  _technically_ archenemies, not brothers, Loki and Thor still stayed in contact. This was mostly so Loki could hear the latest comings and goings in Asgard and check that his adoptive mother was well.

If there was anyone in the universe Loki still cared for, it was Frigga. Aside from that, everyone could burn as far as he cared.

Chaos was far more fun than any form of sentiment. That said, Asgard was the hub of the universe and the one place Loki couldn't go, so he liked to hear what was going on, even if it meant listening to Thor.

Loki rather suddenly became aware of magical energy nearby. He leapt to his feet, full armour materialising as he snarled at Thor "What have you done!?"

"Nothing, brother, I do not-"

Loki was already furious, his wildfire temper flaring. " _I am not your brother! Explain this!"_

Just then, Loki felt a  _something._ In any other case, he would have said it was a binding spell, but it was crude and rough and felt all wrong.

"WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE!?" Loki screamed, under the impression he'd somehow just been tricked and caged. " _Release me!"_

-O.O-

Tony woke up on the floor. This was hardly a first, only it didn't seem he had a hangover, so maybe it was.

He didn't remember what happened, or why he'd passed out. All he knew is that the ball of magic in his lab had exploded when he'd tried to get rid of it.

This was a time for introspection. Tony let his mind wander, over things he was supposed to have done but didn't, his teammates he was supposed to talk to but hadn't, and the villains he was supposed to capture but couldn't.

Villians. Something about that was very important.

Namor. No.

Doctor Doom. Annoying, and unfortunately named, but no.

Skurge. Ew. No.

Amora? Hot, if she wasn't crazy Tony would definitely hit that, but no.

Loki?

Yes.

That was important.

Why was it important?

Tony lay on the floor and thought about Loki. His ebony hair, his smooth alabaster skin, his mischievous green eyes that could look right through you, his clever hands.

That accent, his voice a low feral purr that Tony could listen to all day.

How amazingly good at magic he was, and how much Tony would like to study that.

How smart he was, how he always saw through any trick or trap.

That was when Tony knew.

He was in love with Loki.

Surprised by this new revelation, Tony sat up, wondering where Loki was right now so he could go see him.

Some sense that he hadn't had before firmly told him that Loki was upstairs in Thor's private rooms.

Well, he knew where he needed to go.

-O.O-

Loki was quickly realising that whatever had happened had nothing to do with Thor. The magic itself didn't have the signature of being cast by any sorcerer he knew, either, and it didn't seem to be harming him.

But he didn't like it. He'd overstayed his welcome. With a sneer at Thor, Loki brushed himself off and made to leave.

Just then, the elevator opened, and Stark jumped out, looking rather insane as his eyes searched the room for something. Then his brown eyes alighted on Loki, and Loki felt a surprising jolt of fear when he discerned the intent in those irises.

"Sta-" Loki said, but Tony stopped him by jumping forward, grabbing his coat and pulling the god's lips against his own.

"MMPH!" Loki snatched Stark and yanked him back in shock, holding him by his throat in the air.

" _What are you doing!?"_ Loki screeched. "I should break your miserable neck, you perverted, morally weak, filthy, mortal! I should-"

"What is the meaning of this, Man of Iron?" Thor boomed in outrage.

Seeing as Loki's hand was cutting off his airway, Tony tried to answer but only managed a gurgle.

"Put him down, brother." Thor said gently.

Loki was trembling with anger at his violation as he released Tony. "Explain yourself, and quickly, before I give in to temptation and destroy you for your presumption." He hissed.

"Loki, I know this is sudden, and we haven't had much to with each other, but I...I love you." Tony rasped.

It was only Loki's somewhat paralysing surprise that allowed Tony to get his hands around Loki's waist and squeeze him into a tight hug.

"Unhand me." Loki said sharply.

Tony refused. "No. I like this."

Loki's brain was trying to figure out what was going on as he levered Tony away from him.

When he was free, he teleported away.

Tony gave a moan of heartsickness as he suddenly felt so very alone.

-O.O-

Tony had developed a sense of where Loki was, which he attributed to them being soulmates, but was actually a result of being Loki's thrall.

This was why, while Thor gathered the Avengers, Tony mentally locked on to Loki's apartment safehouse (safeapartment?) as he was clad into his Iron Man suit.

When everyone sat down at the conference table, wondering where Tony was, the man himself was soaring towards a tidy apartment in Brooklyn.

-O.O-

"You're saying Tony actually  _kissed_ him!?" Clint said in disbelief. "Like, the full lip-lock, with Loki, your brother, a.k.a the crazy guy who keeps trying to blow us up?"

"My brother is far from insane." Thor warned. "But yes."

"And he said he loved him." Clint said.

"Yes."

Clint turned to Steve. "Let's face it, Tony's gone insane. We all knew this day would come. Que sera sera and all that."

"Where is he, does anyone know?" Steve said, the face of responsibility.

-O.O-

Tony landed on Loki's balcony in Brooklyn, pulling off his helmet so he could see Loki better.

The god was meditating on his couch, so Tony gently broke the lock on the sliding door and crept in. He made it halfway across the floor before Loki's green eyes flicked open.

"Stark, how did you find this place?" Loki said cautiously.

"I just  _knew._ " Tony said, which confirmed Loki's theories.

Tony was under a botched love spell.


	2. The Ballads Of Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait = P

Tony let his armour fold itself into a brief-case sized box and he walked towards Loki.

The god's brain worked quickly, trying to think of a way to avoid violation that wouldn't involve killing Tony. The Man of Iron was one of the very few mortals he didn't hate, as he was intelligent enough to laugh at the idea of heroes.

Heroes didn't exist. Nobody did something without expecting recompense.

"Sit!" Loki said suddenly as Tony made it to the couch he was sitting on.

Like a well-heeled mutt, Tony cocked his head and complied. He even looked a little like a hound with his enthusiastic smile and sparkly brown eyes.

Tony followed this order by sitting on the couch so close to Loki he was practically in his lap. "Anything, sweetheart. Why'd you leave before?"

"Stark, did you consider it possible I do not reciprocate that which you pledged to me?" Loki said, trying to wiggle away from Tony.  _I really should just break his neck and leave him as a present in Thor's chambers,_ he thought.

"'Course. But you'll come around." Tony said, with an expression of such pure lovesickness that Loki recoiled in horror.

"When did you realise this...ah...infatuation?" Loki asked.

"Glad you asked. I was lying on the floor of my lab, and I just thought about you, and...well...I just  _knew._  You're the one, Loki, I'm so sure." Tony said earnestly, his hand tracing patterns on the leather of Loki's sleeve.

Loki thought about that for a moment, before saying "Why were you laid out upon the floor?"

"Unf, I love the way you talk." Tony said dreamily, snuggling closer to Loki. "I was working in the lab, and I had an accident. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that we're together."

Loki was gagging at that. This was almost as bad as listening to Thor writing ballads for the women of Asgard.

Almost.

Nothing was worse than that.

"Stark-" Loki started, but Tony cut him off with a finger on his lips.

"Tony." He corrected. Loki glared at the finger, before waving his hand and turning the offending digit into a tentacle.

"Euuurgh!" Tony yelped, pulling his hand away to stare at his new tentacle. "That's disgusting! Amazing, too, babe, but gross."

"Be thankful it was not other parts." Loki said with a frown. "Sta-Tony,  _what were you working on in your laboratory?_ "

"...I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I was messing with magic." Tony said. "C'mon, Lo'lo, the tentafinger is cool and all, but I need to use this hand."

Loki rolled his eyes and changed it back. "So it was  _you_ I felt." He said. Then he leaned forward, placing his hands on Tony's temples.

"This is more like it." Tony said, leaning forward for a kiss that Loki dodged.

"Do not make me curse you. Hold yourself still while I remove the spell you unwittingly placed upon yourself." Loki said, drawing a breath through his nose.

"What spell?" Tony said persistently.

"The love spell, you buffoon.  _Hold still._ " Loki insisted as he probed his magic through Tony, looking for the magic gripping his sensibilities.

"I doubt there's a spell-" Tony said, gasping suddenly as Loki snatched the magic and tugged on it. "Ah!"

Loki released Tony's face to stare at him. "I am unable to break it." he said in disbelief. "The magic is so poorly constructed that I cannot remove it."

"Or maybe it isn't there." Tony said, taking advantage of Loki's confusion to actually catch him in a kiss.

Loki relaxed into it for a second; it had been such a very long time since anyone had touched him with any kind of affection. He was about to push back and force Tony's mouth open before he remembered exactly what was going on here and shoved Tony away.

"Cease touching me!" he gasped. "Come now, grab your suit and we shall return you to your comrades."

-O.O-

Everyone was sitting around rubbing their eyes in confusion while Clint babbled about the signs of insanity and how Tony showed them daily when the god and the metal man appeared.

Instantly several weapons were pointed at Loki, who raised an eyebrow and pushed Tony towards them. "Keep him restrained. He is under the influence of a particularly poorly cast love spell."

Everyone looked well and truly disturbed. Clint made gagging motions.

"Brother, could you not remove this enchantment?" Thor boomed.

"Not your brother, and no, I cannot. The fool cast it upon himself so clumsily I could not take it out without destroying him."

"Cast it on  _himself?_ " Clint said in disbelief. "He's not that desperate, is he?"

"I believe it was an accident, Dodo." Loki said irritably.

"Hawk!" Clint protested.

 "I knew we should've stopped Tony from messing around with magic." Steve said.

"Whatever the cause, I want him kept away from me. He is rather...handsy, as you would say." Loki said distastefully.

Tony was listening to none of this, humming  _Friday I'm In Love._

"Loki, be sure you do not...abuse this connection you have. He is your thrall, but you should not treat him as your servant." Thor said.

Tony smiled benignly. "Thor, big guy, I'm not a kid. I'm  _more_ than happy to be Loki's, uh, slave."

Clint repeated his previous gagging motion.

Loki raised one perfect eyebrow at Tony. "Never fear, Thunderer. Your teammate shall remain unsoiled." he said.

"Aw, but-" Tony protested.

"Tony, if you finish that sentence, I will lose whatever tiny shred of respect I had for you." Clint said. Tony threw a pencil at him, which Natasha caught.

"So how do we do this?" she asked.

"I find myself at a loss. This spell cannot be removed by myself, by far the most skilled sorcerer in the area-"

"Oh, you  _are_." Tony said, moving into Loki's personal space again, wrapping an arm possessively around his waist.

Loki flinched, pushing his arm away. "-And the original caster was inanimate, so I know not the cure-"

Tony persisted, wriggling close to Loki, burying his face against the god's leather-padded shoulder and surreptiously dropping a hand to run up his thigh. As his hand brushed a little high for comfort, Loki gave a shrill cry of "Stark!" and jumped away.

The team couldn't take it anymore. Except for Thor, they all started laughing hysterically, Clint almost sobbing against the table with amusement.


	3. Sweet Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can't cope without his loveeeeeeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is the story even

Loki had left shortly after that, not exactly happy about being laughed at while he was molested. He left strict instructions to keep Tony contained while he tried to figure how to break the spell before he got actually violated.

This was easier said than done. Loki didn't have a clue how to break it. He stayed up all night - not that gods need much sleep - trying to remove himself of Tony Stark.

One thing Loki did understand that Thor didn't was a cellphone, and his kept ringing while he was perusing one of his tomes on binding spells that morning. This tome wasn't helping much, mostly because historically no one had ever done one as badly as Tony had.

The mortal should be proud.

Maybe.

" _What!?"_ Loki finally shouted as he picked up his phone, seeing the caller ID as Thor. Probably a pocket dial. Thor's inability to comprehend technology was a constant annoyance.

"Brother, we require you back in our tower!" Thor shouted through the headset. Loki jumped and nearly dropped the phone.

Who needs speakerphone when you have Thor Odinson?

"Bring your voice down!" Loki hissed.

"Brother, we require you back at the tower. Friend Tony will not remain where his is; he demands to see you, and will settle for nothing less." Thor said, still loud but not ear-shattering.

Loki vaguely heard 'Is that Loki!?' in the background from the inventor.

"Unless that oaf can keep his hands off me, no, I will not be joining you." Loki said irritably.

"Could you not conduct your research here?" Thor pleaded.

"Certainly, but I am not in the mood to be fondled by Stark. Or anyone else for that matter." Loki growled.

"We will keep him restrained, brother-" Thor said, before the phone was snatched away.

"Babe!" Tony said excitedly.

"What do you want, Stark?" Loki said warily.

"You." said Tony blatantly. "I actually wrote you a poem. It goes like this: 'His hair is as dark as-'"

"Stop. Please. I will be there soon." Loki groaned, ending the call and putting his face in his hands.

-O.O-

Loki appeared at Stark Tower a few minutes later, clutching an armful of tomes and glancing about cautiously for his paramour.

Unfortunately, he didn't look behind him, which was where Stark appeared from to pull him into a colossal space-violating hug that made him drop his book as he flinched in fright.

"Hey there, lover." Tony said affectionately, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

" _What happened to keeping him restrained!?"_ Loki shrieked at Thor and Captain Rogers, who were trying to pull Tony off Loki.

The mage teleported away, leaving three of Earth's mightiest heroes to collapse in a surprised heap on the ground.

"Stark," Loki said seriously, standing over the three men. "I come here as a favour to my brother that I fully intend to abuse in the future. You may stay in my presence, provided you _cease molesting me._ "

Tony looked like Christmas had been cancelled, which made Loki the Grinch. The more you thought about it, the more sense it made.

By extension, this meant that in his enchanted state, Tony's Christmas actually did involve molesting Loki, which was just plain weird.

"Do we have an agreement?" Loki hissed.

Tony nodded sadly. "Can I at least sit with you? You look so clever when you work."

"...Fine. But remember our deal." Loki said, picking up the millennia-old books that had fallen to the floor - fortunately none were broken, or Stark would have had his hide tanned to rebind them - and settling them on the couch.

Steve and Thor looked cautiously at Loki and Tony before deciding Loki had everything under control and leaving.

Tony sat close enough for Loki to feel his breath on his neck, but seeing as they weren't touching, he couldn't throw the mortal out a window.

"I never finished my poem." Tony purred. Loki tried to ignore him and keep reading.

"It was nice, you know." Tony added.

Loki focused on casting errors and their solutions.

"It was like 'His hair is as dark as a raven's wing, his eyes as green as field grass. I love my king, and all his things, especially his sweet little ass-"

" _Shut up!"_ Loki snarled in sheer exasperation.

"Wow, Tony, you suck at poetry." Clint said from the kitchen where he was retrieving cake and trying to not die laughing.

Loki had his head in his hands for the second time that day, groaning in frustration.

"Hey, 'Lo. Sorry if I freaked you out, I'm more of an inventor than a wordy person." Tony said, rubbing Loki's back.

Loki relaxed into the soothing touch, so much like Frigga's after a nightmare when he was a child. "You should be begging me for forgiveness, pathetic mortal," Loki said, but seeing as he said that while have his back rubbed like a cat, it was hard to take him seriously.

"Mm. You should relax a bit, love. Don't bother with all the books and shit - I keep telling you there's no spell anyway." Tony said, abusing Loki's touch-memory pliancy to cuddle closer to him.

Loki jerked in sudden surprise as he realised how close Tony had gotten. "Stark, move away from me-"

Tony kissed him again. Loki was getting real sick of all this kissing shit, but he didn't turn Stark's mouth into a beak, and why not enjoy it-

"Tony! Tony no!" Clint squealed, throwing a cup of milk at them, which splattered unceremoniously into their hair.

Loki pulled away from Tony and slid to the floor in sheer frustration, because his life was now the most irritating it had been for some time, all because Tony bloody Stark had been messing with magic.

He was no saint, but he couldn't figure out what he'd done to deserve this. Maybe Odin had thought of yet another stupid way for him to find redemption.

And now he had milk in his hair. He siphoned it away with a wave of his hand.

Bruce walked in to find Clint staring at the sofa in horror while Tony wiped milk off his face and Loki lay on the floor with his alabaster hands over his face, and promptly turned around and walked back out again.

-O.O-

"Loki, I know it's not your fault, but you can't let Tony-" Steve's voice dropped to a scandalised whisper. " _Make out_ with you."

It was lunchtime, and Loki had to stay in case Tony got upset. He'd made Tony swear to not lay an uninvited hand on him again, and then Tony protested that he must have liked it or he wouldn't have kissed back, and then the team walked in and everything just sort of snowballed once Clint started his horrified babbling.

"I was hardly my intention." Loki said in a low predatory voice that scared everyone except Tony, who was a little aroused.

"Just-" Steve started, but Loki cut him off with a growl as he vanished.


	4. Ooo, Cake!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly, Tony's stopped with the molestation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiatus of this story over! (Probably)! I stopped because I hated it so much, and hell, I still hate it, but less so.  
> I'm guessing everyone will just like 'fuck reading that, that bitch never bothers to fricking update'. So I humbly apologise. Hiatus is as hiatus does.

Loki was in a terrible mood. There was a spell he couldn't break, a handsy inventor who showed his affection by pevertedly invading his personal space and now the Avengers seemed to think some of the blame rested on _him._

He couldn't stay at home, or Stark would hunt him down, and staying at their tower was just as unpleasant a thought.

Therefore it was with a heart filled with anger that Loki suited up and stormed into Times Square to fuck shit up.

Today he had no purpose beyond destruction. Therefore he sat on a billboard and casually blew things to pieces, turned pigeons into emus, messed with the billboards to say rude things about the Avengers, and generally caused chaos.

The SHIELD agents cleaning it up knew they were going to have a bad day as soon as the words 'emu infestation' and 'a lot of bird shit' started getting bandied about.

And Loki felt a _lot_ better. Especially seeing as Tony had refused to fight him.

The Man of Iron had left halfway through the fight, though, and that worried Loki.

Sadly, the mystery was solved when Loki found Tony on his couch.

Holding a nutella cake.

Ooo, cake!

"Stark. This is very simple. I want you to stay away from me." Loki scowled.

Tony took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"Pardon?" Loki said in disbelief.

"I'm sorry for - for being a dick, and violating your personal space, and all that." Tony said. "Steve said I was doing it wrong."

"There are no hard feelings so long as you _never do it again_." Loki deadpanned.

"I've never been in a relationship before." Tony continued, and Loki felt his heart sink. "I'm used to just getting people into my bed. But that's not what I want here. I love you, Loki, and I want to know you."

Loki didn't like the words Tony was saying. They were lies, all lies, and they hit exactly where it hurt.

"Silence, Stark. Remove yourself from my home." After a moment's thought he added, "And leave the cake."

"Shh." Tony soothed. "Sit down."

Loki didn't want to. He kept standing, a stubborn look about him.

Tony scratched his head. He wanted this to work, he really did. "Er. How 'bout I get the ball rolling. Is there anything - _anything_ \- you want to know about me?"

Actually, there was something. "The device in your chest, that which blocks my magic. What is it?"

"An arc reactor." Tony said without hesitation. "It keeps me alive."

Now Loki's curiosity was truly piqued. "Go on."

Tony did. Tongue loosened by the spell and Loki's command, he told him the whole tale of the arc reactor. It took half an hour, and by the end, Loki had sat down and was feeling strange inside. Included in the tale had been the story of Tony's father, and to Loki's horror, he was feeling ... empathy.

"...and so Vanko died." Tony finished. "Now it's your turn. Have some cake."

Loki idly took a slice and delicately nibbled it. He did feel oddly obligated to return the favour of telling a story, but he needed one that couldn't be used against him when Tony regained his sanity.

Finally, he decided on the story of one of his many adventures with Thor - a hunt on Vanaheim, just the brothers, their wits, Mjolnir, and Loki's magic...

For whatever reason, it felt nice to unload to Tony, who sat there and hung on his every word. It was the magic, but it still gave Loki a warm glow.

"Wowie." Tony said. "You're amazing, you know that? Your magic is just...Man, I wish I could study it some time."

"You may just have that chance." Loki said with an uncharacteristic warmth. "You need to leave. Now."

"Aw, why?" Tony asked.

"You have been away from your companions too long." Loki replied. "Away with you."

Tony's head hung in resignation, before he seemed to have an idea. "'Lo, I know I promised to behave myself better, but can - can I hug you? Please?"

If it stopped Tony from behaving badly, Loki didn't see why not. "If you must." He sighed, standing stiffly as Tony squeezed him tightly into a hug and left.

Huh.

-O.O-

The next time they encountered each other, Loki wasn't even being evil. He was having coffee in disguise near his apartment, and Tony abused the link to find him and bring him an Iron Man plushy.

All of a sudden Tony had stopped the creepy-ass assault attempts and switched to a tooth-achingly sweet courtship.

Loki had no idea which was worse, but at least this way he wasn't being molested and he got free sweetfoods. So he'd tolerate this instead of provoke the other.

At least, that was what he told himself.

After sitting talking mindlessly to Tony for another hour, he had to admit this was getting out of control. He needed to find a cure for this, before Tony's cordial words and blatant declarations of love started to sound true.


	5. Five Days Of (heaven or hell, depending on your view)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which this torture may be ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, severe anxiety issues put me in the need to write OOC crack, so here we are.
> 
> The more serious version of this story will be produced after I've cleared my intense backlog of WIP's. Intense. Seriously.

Tony was called childish a lot.

It wasn't quite fair; of course, he could dress and bathe himself. But he didn't always play well with others, he definitely couldn't feed himself, and by whichever gods would still accept him _he did not share if he didn't want to._

Ergo, his lab was off limits. No sharing there.

This rule had two exceptions: Pepper, because Pepper was not going to take any of Tony's shit, and Bruce, because Tony had actually informally adopted Bruce and treated him as half protegee and half Pillow Pet.

In Tony's defence, Bruce was _damn_ cuddly if you weren't afraid of the Other Guy (who, for the record, loved cuddles too, but was not allowed them).

A blanket ban had been put on Hulk-cuddling after Tony had tried it. Shows dedication, right?

Returning to the subject of Tony's lab: that rule of no entrance had stood before Tony had his brain magicked into a pile of overly-romantic mush.

It had been five days since said mushings had occurred. For everyone except Tony they had been five very long days.

For the first time in his life, Tony was properly romancing someone. No 'I'm a billionaire, let's go find a bed' and no 'you like me enough, I don't need to send you flowers'. This was Tony waking up in the morning with his first thought being solely of how to make Loki smile.

Day one, and Tony had gotten Loki another Nutella cake, because the first one had taken Loki all of an hour to nibble gracefully down to crumbs. As it turned out, being Loki meant you couldn't just vulgarly shovel icing and chocolate-hazelnut goodness down your throat with impunity. Tony had then ordered Loki a crate of Nutella jars all of his own.

Loki _claimed_ , as he had done with Thor in the past, that sugar recharged his magic, but, well...maybe he thought it wasn't right for gods to have a sweet tooth, and this intricate web of candy lies was his cover.

In any case, to Loki's horror, the spell seemed to be strengthening. Tony couldn't be kept from Loki's company that night without alarming cardiac symptoms and a _lot_ of bitching and worrying along the lines of:

"I could keep his bed warm!"

"What if he has a nightmare?!"

"What if he needs a glass of water?!"

And the old favourite:

"What if-"

"TONY, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!"

Thank you, Clint.

Therefore, on day two, after Tony had spent the whole morning reading over Loki's shoulder while giving the god a backrub and the whole afternoon trying to make new things with the infinite Nutella, Tony slept on Loki's couch and was much more settled.

Apart from when Loki woke up and did indeed consider padding to the kitchen for a glass of water, only to find a glass on his nightstand with the note _sweet dreams, my love_ tucked under it.

Loki slept on a hair trigger and would wake if a mouse scratched behind its ear on the other side of the room. The fact that Tony had snuck in and put that there without him noticing spooked him.

His dreams from there on were filled with the disturbing mental image of hundreds of spiders with Tony's head crawling along his walls.

Day three, and Tony spent most of the day trying to find a skywriter to proclaim his love for Loki to the city.

Unfortunately (for him) the team didn't want the message **LOKI, I LOVE YOU - TONY** emblazoned across the sky for obvious reasons. The whole of New York knew who Loki was. The whole of New York didn't need to know Iron Man was romancing him.

Therefore, day three was spent with Tony in lockdown in the living room of the Avengers. Initially Steve sat right next to Tony to check he wasn't dialling someone or the suchlike.

Loki stayed at the tower that night, because JARVIS could then keep an eye on Tony.

Thor abused this privilege (as Loki saw it) heartily.

To escape from him, Loki ended up hiding in Tony's room learning to play blackjack with the man himself.

If Thor found them just after midnight both fully dressed and asleep on Tony's bed, well, he didn't tell Loki, for fear of losing his manly parts to Loki's sceptre.

Day four was simply a day in the tower. Tony was no longer able to leave the room Loki was in, so he watched Loki work on researching a spell that might break the binding charm someone else had cast.

Seeing as Tony was still in complete denial about any kind of love spell, he also denied that the spell was for him.

Productively, Tony made a sculpture of apple slices depicting Loki in a vague, blocky, Minecrafty fashion.

Everyone was impressed with Tony's artistry, because a clumsy, shapeless apple sculpture was better than the waffle house he'd tried and failed to make Clint about four weeks prior.

Thor continued to attempt to absorb as much Loki as possible while he was there, only adding to Loki's annoyance.

"Thor," he ended up growling. "If I were you I would simply revel in the fact I have not torn your eyes out and commanded Tony to eat them, rather than griping over the fact that I will not play this 'Ludo' game with you."

Loki was annoyed, he had to admit, but it wasn't really at Tony anymore. It was more at the whole situation.

Lies though it may have been, having Tony fawn over him made him feel all warm inside for the first time in a long while.

If the spell wasn't volatile, potentially dangerous and strengthening daily, then Loki could've gotten used to it.

Loki accepted a hug and a kiss on the forehead from Tony before they went to sleep that night.

Which brings us to day five.

It also brings us to the lab, in which the majority of day five happened.

Loki's studies had done a thing. After much research, he knew he couldn't break the spell that had Tony whistling appreciatively every time he bent over.

But, if given the original sorcerer, he could shape their magic with his own into breaking it.

They could undo this.


	6. Pink Wads Are Good Wads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spell is broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this short, crappy chapter was the literary equivalent of giving birth to a basketball. I hope you enjoy.

Day five. Crunch time. Hammer time, but with Thor around, it was always hammer time.

Loki was reading something on the couch, so Tony had curled up at the other end and was happily listening to his love breathe.

"Loki?" Bruce said suddenly as he entered the room.

Loki didn't twitch, just raised an eyebrow.

"Well...I think we've solved our little mystery of why Tony's following you around," Bruce said.

That had Loki listening. It also had Tony saying "This is a bit of cliche, but while love might be a mystery, it's sure as hell not a little one."

Bruce ignored him. "Before all this, Tony had an interest in trying to figure out how your magic worked. I asked JARVIS to replicate last protocol and I'm assuming you'll understand it better than me."

Loki looked at him expectantly. He still hadn't said a word. Tall, dark and silent.

"It's in the lab," Bruce explained.

"Oh! I haven't shown you my lab yet!" Tony said eagerly, reaching across and taking Loki's hand in his. He tried to pull Loki to his feet. Loki weighed a few hundred pounds, so when he didn't want to move, he wouldn't. Tony stumbled and fell on his ass on the ground, making Loki chuckle.

Loki showing joy made Tony happy, too, and they shared something like affectionate laughter before Loki did actually get up and make his way to the elevator.

-O.O-

"I think I had an acid trip like this once," Tony said. "Wait, I've never taken acid before. I think I had an aspirin trip like this once."

Loki paused in his examination of the glowing cloud of pink magic to shoot a confused look at Tony. "What is that? A hallucinogen?"

"Mild painkiller. Whatever. So what am I looking at here?" Tony replied.

"For all you don't recall it, Stark - and for all your claims of being the brightest Midgard has to offer-" The second sentence was accompanied by a slight derisive snort. "-This is the foundation of a binding spell. In this case, a spell to cause infatuation."

"Harry Potter says that you can't have a real love spell," Tony said.

"It was Hermione," Bruce pointed out.

"This is no fictional magical world," Loki sighed.

"You know Harry Potter?" Bruce said in surprise.

 _"Anyway,"_ Loki insisted. "If we deactivated this now, the magical energy created would latch onto a magical host and the nearest suitable thrall. Quite simply, as you humans crave subjugation and I've never believed differently, Stark makes an ideal slave."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Tony said. "Unless it's a sex thing. Then I have every idea what you're talking about."

"And wiped his memories of the incident for some reason," Loki said, ignoring Tony.

"Can you cure him?" Bruce said. "I think we've all had enough of this."

Tony wasn't even listening now. It seemed the spell made him selectively deaf to anyone pointing out the spell. Instead he was murmuring _"I believe in miracles...since you came along, you sexy thing!"_

"Yes, I think we have," Loki said distractedly.

It was a fairly simple maneuver. Walk into the magic, absorb it like one of those 'miracle detox' things that were probably (completely) full of shit, and shape the magic.

So Loki extended his mile-long legs and walked into the pink pillow. His body initially rejected the strange, foreign magic, but he forced it to fit. Round peg in square hole sort of thing.

Before, when he'd tried to remove the thread of magic from Tony's head, it had been like picking up an eel and it had consistently just flopped out of his mental reach. Now he grasped it firmly and yanked it out.

Tony dropped to the floor like his strings had been cut, then pulled himself up again. "What. The. Fuck. Was. That?!"

"A love spell," Loki answered, not making eye contact with him. "You cast it upon yourself, you insufferable idiot."

Tony kept staring in horror. "We kissed."

"You forced yourself onto me," Loki corrected.

"You kissed back," Tony insisted.

"I did not, and we will never speak of this again," Loki said, vanishing from the lab after dispelling the artificial magic.

He sort of ignored the ache from not having company anymore.

-O.O-

A week later, and Tony was still unhappy. He'd kissed weirder than a pretty alien before, and yeah, he'd probably recover from the embarrassment, but still...

So, he was getting a drink with Clint to cheer himself up. He didn't know why he'd picked Clint. In fact, in hindsight, it was a _terrible_ idea.

"You know what's _really_ awesome, man?" Clint asked.

"If you say 'arrows' again, you'll wake up with one in one of your orifices," Tony warned.

"Nah. Just being an Avenger. We're saving the world by blowing stuff up," Clint grinned.

"You know, Barton," a smooth voice said. "I don't believe that's in the job description."

Clint flinched ever so slightly. "What do you want?" He snapped at Loki. Tony had already subtly began shuffling away.

Clint muttered mutinously and moved away, saying "I've got Nick Fury on speed dial."

"I thought you had a Hulk," Loki mocked, taking a seat.

"So," Tony said uncomfortably. "I'm not good with the exes. How've you been?"

"Fairly well," Loki said.

They sat there in silence for a moment, Loki drinking Clint's drink because why the hell not.

"Hey, Loki?" Tony said.

"Mm?"

"I actually miss having you around," Tony said.

Loki didn't say anything. The man was probably messing with him.

"Hey, look at me," Tony said. Loki did, so Tony continued "Wanna freak Clint out?"

One of those wicked, million-dollar smiles crept onto Loki's face. "What were you thinking?"

"Well-" Tony said, before grabbing Loki by the lapels and pulling him into a kiss. Loki hummed and pulled Tony a little closer, only breaking for air when they heard Clint make a traumatised noise. "I was thinking something like that."

"Only that?" Loki asked cheerily.

"You'll give me ideas," Tony replied.

"I think I already have," Loki smirked, reaching out to grab Tony by the hand. "Fortunately, I have a few ideas of my own."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taa daa! *breathes heavily*
> 
> So when I clear my backlog (and what a merry backlog it is too) I might either rewrite this to make it less...shit...or write a more serious version. Whatever floats my semi-metaphorical boat or whatever.


End file.
